Even with the shining examples of Job, the prophets, and the Savior, we will still find it challenging to wait upon the Lord, especially when we cannot fully understand His plan and purposes for us. That understanding is most often given “line upon line, [and] precept upon precept.” -Elder Robert D. Hales; General Conference, Oct. 2011
At least I know now that what I am doing is useful for something greater than myself. I know that day by day, I am important enough to be granted the wonderful opportunity to serve the Lord as a missionary. This realization hit me today, "Sister Simons, you're going on a mission!!! You're going to be Sister Simons for a bit longer." I don't really know why its taken me so long to comprehend but maybe its because it wasn't the "right" timing yet. Understanding that I need to go on a mission
My mission papers were submitted on Wednesday morning sometime, because my Stake President interview went through on Tuesday. During my interview I honestly broke down and cried, this man who was my Stake President I had never met EVER... so I went to the temple on Tuesday morning and fasted all day. It was not an easy task, but I knew that if I was to do the work of the Lord in the future I better have started to getting prepared yesterday. I walked in to the Clarke building, being prepared for my interview and waited for about 10 minutes. while the Stake Pres. was in an interview with someone else. I spoke with a young man named Tanner, who had served his mission in Brazil and needed to have his temple recommend renewed. I told him a bit about myself, my conversion story and spoke to him about my ankle surgery, tumor removal. He was amazed that I was serving a mission and told me that he was excited for me and I would be great! (Okay... so my thought process was how, would one guy telling me that I would be great help me to be a great missionary?)
It was the faith that these people have in me, I have given myself so much negative self talk that I haven't seen it for myself. Sometimes we all go through this, I don't want to be prideful so I'm going to tell myself that I'm not good enough... ("You're lying to yourself, don't be an idiot and continue to listen to that little man downstairs!!!")
So as I continue to wait for my mission call, to see where I will be preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ I have gotten anxious. I have been waiting 2 yrs. since I joined the Church to serve a mission, now my previous and current (ankle surgery) health concerns could possible hold me back. It makes me upset that there is nothing in my power that I can do. I have to rely upon the Lord to direct me, by being patient and continuing to live everyday doing the small but simple things I will be successful and prepared. Today I spoke with my Mormon Mommy (Momma Moody) about Christmas plans, the mission stuff she told me to avoid checking the mailbox for at least 2 weeks. (If not longer if my Stake Pres. calls to tell me that they need more information about my health concerns) I was thinking to myself about how I will continue to check the mail probably everyday until it comes. Not because she told me to do this, I wanted to be a down-right deviant I just thought I want my call the second it comes.
A man in the temple today told me to read this talk from Elder Hales, I decided I would do so before I go visiting teaching. After reading this talk I then decided not only what my visiting teaching message would be about. I also learned that if I CONTINUE to be patient my call will come. Not based on my time, but based on the Lord's time and when He fells is the best time for me to receive it. It will come because my papers are in, I just have to have faith that it will be when I need to have it and to where the Lord's needs ME the most to represent His Church and to represent the 12 Apostles.